


there's always more to say

by lauraxtennant



Series: Multi-Doctor Collection [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Humor, Post Episode: s01e08 Father's Day, Post Episode: s02e09 The Satan Pit, Post-Episode: s01e11 Boomtown, Post-Episode: s02e04 The Girl in the Fireplace, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 15:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2626094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauraxtennant/pseuds/lauraxtennant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of tender moments that happen in the TARDIS kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's always more to say

Rose leant back against the TARDIS doors and let out a long breath, watching the Doctor move over to the console. He fiddled with a few buttons and levers, directing them into the vortex. Flying them away from 1987.

She nibbled on her bottom lip, worrying, hesitating. She thought maybe she ought to apologise again, but the words were stuck in her throat.

He glanced at her over his shoulder, his features softening in concern. “You should head to bed. You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”

“Really?” she mumbled, heaving herself up the ramp with her hands on the railings. Everything felt like effort, in that moment; her legs useless lumps of jelly that she had to drag along behind her.

By the time she reached the door to the corridor, the Doctor had darted in front of her. “Rose,” he said, eyes wide.

“Yeah?”

“You’re shaking like a leaf.” His hands came down on her shoulders, squeezing gently, and then trailed along her arms until he reached her hands. “Come on. Let’s have a cuppa before bed.” He turned, starting to walk down the corridor to the kitchen, but paused when he realised she wasn’t following him.

Blinking at him silently for a few seconds, she finally found her voice again. “I…do you even want my company right now, though? After what I…” She shook her head, hand trembling as she raised it to her face, covering her mouth. She didn’t want to cry in front of him, not again, didn’t want him to think her weak -

“Hey, come here,” he whispered, and she felt herself enveloped by his arms, her tears leaking out and staining his jumper, and that was it - all it took for her to start sobbing again.

“I’m s-sorry,” she stuttered out, sniffing, trying to get herself together. “I’m so sorry, Doctor.”

“Shhh,” he whispered, rubbing her back. “Let’s get that tea.” Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he steered her towards the kitchen, sitting her down at the table when they were inside. Her crying tempered to quiet sniffling as he went about making their tea, and when he placed her favourite mug in front of her, she seized it in her grasp immediately to warm her numb fingers.

“Thanks,” she whispered, taking a tentative sip, glad of the burn to her tongue. Too hot, but good, made her feel awake, aware. He sat opposite her with his own tea, just watching. She cleared her throat. “You’re not gonna - ” She sniffed. “You’re not gonna take me home, are you?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Do you want me to?”

“No.”

“No, then.”

“Not even after I messed up?” she asked, her mouth twisting. She took a few steadying breaths. Stop crying, she told herself. Be brave.

“Everyone makes mistakes,” he shrugged, then took a sip of his tea. “Me, for example. Should never have taken you there.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I really didn’t mean to I just - saw it happening and I couldn’t - ”

“Rose. You don’t have to keep saying sorry. I know you didn’t mean it. You reacted instinctively. Anyone would’ve done the same thing. I shouldn’t have taken us there because I should’ve realised something like that could happen.” His gaze slipped to the side, staring at the sink on the other side of the kitchen. “Just couldn’t say no to you, could I? And all it did was get you hurt.”

“No, don’t try and take the blame for this one, Doctor.” She squared her shoulders. “I was stupid. Should’ve known better.”

The Doctor looked back at her, his lips twitching. “That’s very noble of you. But Rose, you’ve not been doing this very long. I didn’t explain the risks.” He shrugged. “So it is my fault.”

“But I got you killed - you nearly _died_ , because of me.” She fiddled with her fingers, focussing on them for a few seconds before meeting his eye again. “Dad said you knew. What he had to do. But you didn’t say anything. You just…tried to find another way.” She sighed. “Thanks.”

He smiled sadly at her.

“But doing that, it meant you…did you feel it? Did it hurt?” she continued.

The Doctor lifted his mug and sipped at his tea, considering her question. “Been through worse.”

Her eyes welled up again. “Oh god, Doctor, I’m so - ”

“Stop it,” he sighed, reaching across the table, grabbing her hand, squeezing firmly. “I’m gonna have to ban that word, aren’t I?”

“I promise I’m never gonna do anything so stupid again, just, just give me another chance and I’ll - ”

He intertwined their fingers and her breath hitched.

“Said I’m not gonna take you home, didn’t I? What, you want me to pull out a contract, sign it as proof?” he teased, tugging on the hand he was holding playfully. “You can stay with me as long as you want, Rose.”

She gave him a half-hearted smile, then frowned. “You chucked Adam off after one mistake - ”

“Really. Comparing yourself to that idiot, now?” The Doctor snorted. “Don’t be daft.”

“But - ”

“I didn’t even like the bloke in the first place. Only had him onboard ‘cos of you and your fluttering eyelashes. Which, by the way, keep getting us into trouble because apparently I’m not immune to them. And then he went and abused the very foundation of being a time traveller. So don’t compare yourself to him. He wasn’t cut out for this life, didn’t have the appreciation for it, the heart. You are and you do.”

Rose stood up, letting go of his hand and coming to stand in front of him, her arms open. He grinned and stood, too, giving her a hug. “Go on, you get some sleep,” he murmured. “I’ll see you in the morning. Take you somewhere fantastic.”

“Dunno if I deserve that,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

“Pfft. I say you do. Reckon I know just the place to cheer you up.”

Rose pulled out of the hug and smiled gratefully. “Thanks, Doctor.”

“No problem.”

She fiddled with his jacket, then, lingering. “I…I hate it when we fight. Earlier, in the flat, I said some stuff…”

“It’s all right.” He stroked her wrist with his thumb. “I said some stuff too.” He paused, opened his mouth to say something else, but she’d already started to say goodnight, so he stopped.

“Sorry, go on, what were you gonna say?” Rose asked.

“Nothing. Just…I wouldn’t have left you there.”

“I know.”

He slipped something into her hand and her eyes widened. “Need this back, don’t you?”

Rose blinked at the key, cursing herself internally for the prickling sensation that came back to her eyes. “Ta. Night, Doctor.” She quickly stood on tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek, then turned and fled to her room without waiting to see his reaction.

Some things were better left to the imagination, she reckoned.

::

The Doctor was whistling when Rose came into the TARDIS kitchen. She grumbled about it under her breath and slumped down at the table. He placed a plate of toast and eggs down in front of her and grinned. “Morning!”

She raised her eyebrows. “What are you so cheerful about?”

“What are you so miserable about?” he retorted, sitting down opposite her and digging into his own food. When she didn’t answer, he frowned. “Jack didn’t do something, did he? I’ll - ”

“No,” she sighed, picking up her fork and poking the yolk of her fried egg with it. “He’s not even up yet. Anyway, he wouldn’t upset me…he’s my friend.”

The Doctor put his knife and fork down. “Have I upset you, then?”

“No,” she sighed again, sounding even more despondent than before.

“Then what it is?”

She gave him a look.

“What?”

“Yesterday. Me and Mickey broke up. Didn’t you realise?” she huffed.

The Doctor arched an eyebrow. “Thought you broke up ages ago, to be honest.” He shrugged, took a casual sip of his tea. “Didn’t see why you wanted to meet up with him in Cardiff in the first place.”

Her mouth dropped open.

“Well, people _did_ think he’d murdered you,” the Doctor reasoned. “And you _were_ gone a year, from his perspective. Figured things had…soured, a bit, maybe. Because of that. No?”

Rose shifted awkwardly in her seat. “Oh. No, I didn’t…we’d sort of…unofficially broken up, yeah, I s’pose. But yesterday made it clear. Final. Once and for all, sort of thing.”

“Ah.” He gave her an assessing look.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just trying to work out why you’re so upset.”

“What?” she gaped at him.

He picked his cutlery back up and started eating his breakfast again, talking between mouthfuls. “You’d grown apart.” A bite of toast. “Lived separate lives.” A forkful of egg. “Thought you’d moved on. You know, Adam, Jack…”

Rose glared at him. “Okay, so firstly, Adam wasn’t - that wasn’t - and Jack, he’s not - what? Just…what? Blimey, didn’t know you had so many opinions on my love life. Or lack of one.” She huffed, slinking down in her seat.

“It’s not like you mention him much,” the Doctor pointed out, gesturing with his fork. “Forgive me for not realising he still meant so much to you.”

“Of course he - we’ve been friends since I was a kid! He’s always been there. Always.”

“Right. So, is he suddenly gonna vanish from your life, then? Stop being your mate?”

She sniffed. “No…”

“Well, then. What’s the problem?”

Rose opened her mouth, then shut it with a click. “Oh. I’m being really selfish, aren’t I?” she mumbled. She put her head in her hands. “Shit.”

The Doctor’s lips twitched. “Eat your eggs.”

“Not hungry.”

He rolled his eyes and leaned over the table to grab her plate, not letting them go to waste.

When she lifted her head from her hands, she winced. “Sorry. I must sound like such a cow.”

“Hm?” He looked at her curiously. “What do you mean? You’re not mooing.”

Rose laughed. “That’s not - never mind. God, it’s just…look, you’re right. It’s not even like I want things with him to be, like, romantic. We were always better off just being mates, I know that, objectively.” She shrugged. “It’s just, hearing he’s got someone else, I dunno. Makes me feel weird.”

“You don’t want him but don’t want someone else to, either?”

She heaved a sigh. “I’m awful.”

“Nah.” The Doctor shook his head. “Just human.”

“I think it’s ‘cos…well. I’ve not - obviously I’ve got all this.” She gestured around her. “The TARDIS and travelling and it’s amazing, it really is. Wouldn’t change it for the world. And you’re like, _so_ much better than a boyfriend, so don’t worry, I’m not pining to go home for domestics or something.”

He cleared his throat, glancing away from her awkwardly. “Good to know.”

“It’s just, him and Tricia, and me, with no one, not like that…kind of miss it, sometimes, that’s all. You know, having someone to just be there when you want a cuddle, that sort of thing.” She looked over at him, realised he was staring at her blankly. “Yeah, never mind.” She smiled brightly. “I’ll be fine. So! Where are you taking us today, then?”

The Doctor watched her contemplatively for a few moments as she bounced up and started clearing their plates up, making herself useful after refusing to eat his cooked breakfast.

“Doctor?” she prompted, when he still wasn’t answering her.

“Eh? Oh. Dunno.” He stood, scraping his chair back. “See you in the console room.”

Rose watched him leave, raising her eyebrows at his abrupt departure.

Wanting to know what was going through his head but knowing she’d probably, realistically, _not_ want to know really, she put the plates in the sink and left to get herself dressed for the day.

::

“You still don’t see me, do you,” the Doctor murmured, as they stared at one another across the kitchen table.

She jolted at the sound of his voice. They’d just been watching each other, silently, for the last few minutes. Him scooping four sugars into his tea had prompted it, her quiet contemplation of all the things that had changed.

“It’s okay,” he continued, swallowing so hard she could see his Adam’s apple bob. “It’ll get easier. It’s only been a few weeks.” He nodded to himself. “Yeah, you’ll…it’ll be fine.”

“I do see you,” she corrected him softly, extending her arm across the table, holding out her hand palm-up. “I really do. It’s not that.”

He exhaled roughly, grasping her wrist, and hers did the same to his. “What, then?”

“I’m scared that I’m gonna forget you. How you - how you were, before. Your face, the way you smelled…” She trailed off, smiling self-deprecatingly. “God, I sound so weird. You know what I mean.”

His forefinger stroked at a freckle on her arm. “Rose, it’s all right if you do. I’m still here.”

Rose frowned, shaking her head. “It’s not all right. I know you’re the same man but that you - he was who - I…” She huffed. “I don’t want to forget anything. How it felt to hug you, hold your hand. ‘Cos it’s different. You’re the same, but different, too.”

The Doctor scratched at the back of his neck with his free hand. “I understand. But it’s - for me, nothing feels - I still, the way we, well, the way I, it’s all still…”

Her eyes widened. “Yeah?”

He sighed, and drew a circle on her arm with the tip of his finger. “I dunno. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m the same man. Different packaging. Same thoughts, same feelings.”

“F-feelings?” Rose nibbled on the side of her thumb nervously.

Cheeks faintly pink, he blustered, “Yes, well, y’know, might have a preference for sugared tea now but the core elements of my personality are still the same.”

“Oh. Yeah.” She sniffed. “So, like, you still feel the same way about guns and violence and stuff. Still have the same ideas of right and wrong - that sort of thing. That’s what you mean?”

“Mmhmm.” The Doctor seemed to say it through gritted teeth, his jaw clenched tight, and she frowned at him in confusion. His finger swirled around on her arm again. She glanced at the pattern he was tracing. A circle, a few lines within it, another, smaller circle. “You doing some alien morse code or something?” she remarked, raising her eyebrows. She looked back at him to see his eyes widen, and a second later his hand was lifting off her arm. 

He stood, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Just realised. Left something - er. Unattended. In the console room.”

“So?”

“So, I’d better - ” He jerked his head towards the doorway. “See to that. Before the TARDIS gets cranky. Forgot to fix a coupling onto the - yeah. Anyway, I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

Rose sighed, propping her head up as she leant on her elbow, staring at his untouched mug of tea. Impulsively, she reached over for it, drawing it to her lips, sampling. It was tepid, and far too sweet. She spat the tea back out, into the mug. “Oops,” she mumbled, then giggled to herself, getting up and tipping it into the sink. Glancing to the side, she smiled, picking up the sugar pot the Doctor had bought for her at a market they’d been to. She couldn’t remember the planet’s name - it had been the day after she’d seen her Dad die, and, well, she hadn’t really been all that with it.

But she remembered his eyes lighting up when he spotted the dark blue, pretty little thing. It had stars painted on it. He’d shown it to her, and she’d said it was nice, and he’d bought it immediately, thrusting it into her hands. Like a peace offering, or something. It hadn’t been necessary. She’d said she should be buying _him_ a present, after nearly getting him killed by a Reaper the day before. He’d told her to stop bringing it up, that he was trying to take her mind off it so if she’d kindly let him, he’d take her to see the sunset they’d come to the planet for. It had been a lovely evening, after that. She’d thought maybe -

“Rose,” the Doctor murmured from the doorway, and his voice, his different voice, it was so jarring that she dropped the sugar pot.

Tears sprung to her eyes as she watched it shatter, sugar spilling everywhere.

Moments later she registered the Doctor’s arms around her, drawing her close. They were on the floor; she realised she’d probably sank to it, crumbling like an idiot, crying over a stupid piece of crockery.

“I’m sorry that I startled you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Rose. Hey, it’s okay. We can get another.”

Gradually, her tears stopped, and she nuzzled her face into his neck, only partially embarrassed about inhaling a deep breath, filling her nose with his scent.

Same Doctor. Different packaging.

“You smell the same. Almost. Only the leather’s missing,” she realised, murmuring the words, pressing her nose more firmly into his neck. “Oh thank god.”

The Doctor tightened his embrace. “I shouldn’t have left just now. I panicked. Sorry.”

She drew back, eyeing him warily. “Why’d you panic?”

“Just…” He let out a whoosh of breath, stroked his hand down her back. “I don’t know.”

“It’s just me,” she said, ducking her head to meet his gaze when he glanced at his lap, where she was only just realising she was half-draped across him. Shifting onto her knees, dislodging his arms from around her, Rose continued, “I’m not going anywhere, Doctor.”

He reached out a hand, stroked her hair back from her face. “Good.”

::

She was vigorously washing up their plates from last night’s meal when he entered the kitchen. Placing each piece of clean, soapy crockery into the drying rack with a bit more force than usual, she waited for him to speak. He was hovering next to her, she could feel him. Saw him reach up and tug on his ear in her peripheral vision.

He cleared his throat. “So, er. Mickey gone to bed, then?”

“Yep,” she replied curtly.

“Right.” He nodded, and leant his bum against the counter, hands in his pockets.

Rose carried on, carefully washing his favourite mug and wondering how it would feel to throw it across the room. She imagined his face. It was enough. She put the mug on the drying rack; made sure it clanged unpleasantly against the plates as she did so. Sensed him flinch.

“We need to talk,” he said in a low voice. He waited for her response, but she refused to answer him. He pressed on, sounding irritated, “Don’t we?”

Her hands left the water and clutched at the counter so tightly that her knuckles went white. “Probably, yeah.”

“Can - can we sit down?”

“Sure, go ahead.” She picked up the tea towel and dried her hands, slowly turning around and taking his spot leaning against the counter whilst he sat down.

The Doctor gestured at the seat opposite him. Her seat. “Don’t you want to - ”

“I’m okay.”

He exhaled roughly. “Right.” Fiddling with a loose thread on his trousers, concentrating on that rather than meeting her eyes, he mumbled, “So…”

Rose rolled her eyes, mainly to try and ignore the prickling sensation there. Time for an olive branch. “How are you feeling?”

His head snapped up and he stared at her, evidently surprised by her magnanimity. “Oh. Um. I’m fine.”

The corner of her mouth lifted in a begrudging smile. “Liar.”

He shook his head. “I made a mistake.”

“She waited for you. You invited her, and she waited.”

“Rose - ”

“But, Doctor, she did other things, too. Right? She didn’t just stand there and pine and wait and wait, she must’ve got on with her life. She did, yeah? So you don’t - you don’t have to feel so guilty. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Rose - ”

“She must’ve known that it could be a long time for her, that the fireplace - ” Her throat constricted, but she pushed passed the feeling and continued, “- might not get you back to the same moment. Both of you must’ve realised…”

He sighed. “It was impulsive of me.”

Tears started to gather in her eyes but Rose ignored them, ignored the way her chest felt like it was caving in. “Which bit? Asking her, or coming - coming home?” Her voice cracked, and she flushed, embarrassed.

His eyebrows drew together. “Going there in the first place, for starters. In that way, I mean. The horse, the mirror, it - getting trapped there wasn’t my best idea. Neither was offering her a trip. She - she had her place in history to fill. It was daft of me to even suggest it. And she spent all those years wondering…for nothing.” He paused, held Rose’s gaze intently. “Coming home, however - ”

“How long were you there?” she interrupted.

“Hours. That’s all. Six, ish.”

Her jaw clenched, and she nodded.

“I didn’t want to be there.” He stood up. “Rose. You have to - please believe me. I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have risked it. Shouldn’t have left you there, it - I would’ve got a lift back to you, from one of my past selves, if things hadn’t worked out, but - ”

“If things hadn’t worked out?” she repeated, her breath hitching. “What, between you and…”

His eyes went round. “What? No! That’s not what I meant. I meant, if things hadn’t worked out with the fireplace still being connected.”

She breathed out jaggedly. “Oh.”

The Doctor took a few steps towards her, his hand reaching out tentatively. He brushed it along her arm, then took her hand. Squeezed. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.”

“I wish today had never happened.”

Rose blinked at him silently.

“I wish I could reverse it.” He raised his other hand, swiping her tears from her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Didn’t know you’d - I’m sorry.”

She pressed a hand to her stomach, trying to quell the nausea she felt. “Yesterday, you said…” She trailed off, throat closing up.

He cradled her head, pulling her against his chest for a hug. Their hands left each other’s and hers found his back, clutching at his shirt as her arms wrapped around him tightly.

“You can,” he whispered. “I meant it, you can. I want you to.”

She sniffled into his shirt. “Stop pushing me away, then.”

He held her tighter. “I’m sorry. Please don’t - don’t leave.”

“Not going to. But, Doctor,” she leant back, keeping her arms around him but looking up at his face. “I need us to stop with all the pretending.”

She felt his chest expand against hers as he inhaled deeply. “Right.”

“You kissed her.”

“Yes. Just the once.”

“You _boasted_ about it.”

“Yeah. About that - ”

“Did you - did you have feelings for her?”

“I knew her for barely a day - ”

“Did you have feelings for her?”

“No.”

She swallowed. “Are you lying?”

“No. I’d prove it to you if you’d let me.”

“How?”

He shrugged. “You can look into my head.” His nonchalant tone was at odds with the weight of his words, with the nervous expression on his face. “See exactly what’s happening with regards to my feelings.”

Rose bristled. “No, ta.”

The Doctor frowned. “What?”

“That’s something you just shared with - with Reinette.”

“What’s that?”

“The mind thing.” She nibbled on her bottom lip, then quoted, “‘Lonely then and lonelier now.’”

He rolled his eyes. “That was an unintended by-product of a necessary act. Didn’t anticipate her getting quite so - ”

“Intimate?”

“- acquainted with my mind.” He sniffed. “Anyway, my whole species, my telepathic species, is gone. So yeah, it’s lonely up here.” He tapped his temple.

Rose dropped her arms from around him, guilt swirling in her stomach. “Yeah. Sorry. Cheap shot.”

“But you,” he whispered, his fierce, intense eyes arresting hers. “Rose. You’re…”

“What, Doctor?”

His hands grabbed her shoulders. “Don’t you know?”

“No.”

“Haven’t you always known?”

“Seriously? You think I know what goes on in your head? Your hearts?” She folded her arms. “I’ve not got a clue, Doctor. You’ve never said. What, am I supposed to just read your mind?”

“You can talk!” he retorted, releasing his hold on her. “You think it’s easy? Understanding you? Wondering if I’m reading too much into - Rose, you’re impossible. All these months, I’ve - I’ve tried to -” He broke off, shaking his head. “If you’d ever just say what you mean - ”

“Don’t you dare have a go at me about not communicating clearly,” she bit out. “You’re the bloody king of not saying what you mean. All these riddles and tiny snippets of emotion for me to figure out - ”

He let out a noise of frustration, interrupting her, and started pacing around the kitchen. “Sometimes I don’t understand how you humans get anything done. No, wait, not humans in general, just specific ones. How did you and Mickey even get together, anyway? How does that transition from friends to more work in your world? Because blimey, as far as I can tell, there’s an awful lot of dancing around in euphemistic language going on in your courtship ideas - ”

“Ha! Pot calling kettle black! When have you ever been honest with me about how you feel? Stated it outright? Never. You’ve never even tried!”

“Well I’m sorry if I’ve been a bit reluctant to share my feelings with someone who doesn’t requite them,” he snapped, folding his arms. He leant against the wall, on the other side of the room, glaring at her.

Rose couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Oh, shut up. You know exactly how I feel. You’ve made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t hiding it well. And yesterday, Jesus, I basically shouted it out to the world, and you just - ”

“What?”

“You couldn’t say it, could you? Couldn’t even admit it, had to dress it up in something else instead.”

“An offer for you to spend the rest of your life with me isn’t adequate, then?” he said, raising his voice. “That’s not enough of an indication? Acknowledging that somehow I’ll have to go on without you, one day, go on feeling like this when you won’t even be around anymore, that’s not, that’s not enough to let you know? To give you some inkling of how it feels to be me, in this relationship, of how it feels to be the one that’s going to lose out, to lose _you!”_ He stopped, panting for breath, staring at her with wide, wild eyes.

Rose gaped at him. She swallowed hard. “Doctor. Sometimes I think you think you say things, but you actually don’t, not with actual words that make sense, that make it clear that you don’t just mean - that it’s not just - friendship.”

He blinked. Once, twice. Then, quiet, “Oh, for the…” He stormed back over to her, pulled her to him, one hand on her waist, the other cupping her jaw as he bent his head, kissing her, pushing her up against the counter as she started to return the kiss. Feeling dizzy from disbelief, her tongue darted out, requesting entrance, and he let her, her tongue in the Doctor’s mouth, and his sliding against hers, and as she ran her hands through his hair he shuddered, a small groan rising up in his throat, and she yanked her lips away with a gasp.

He rested his forehead against hers as they tried to catch their breaths.

“Not like this,” she whispered. “Not out of anger.”

“Okay.” His nose slid against hers as he lifted his head to kiss her forehead. “But I’m not angry with you.” Taking a step back, he rubbed at his neck, watching her warily.

She fiddled restlessly with the hem of her top.

“You and Mickey. You aren’t likely to…” He trailed off.

Rose let out a small laugh. “Nope. Not at all.”

The Doctor released a breath. “Right. Good.”

“So, is this - are we gonna, someday, be…”

“Yeah. I mean, if you want.”

“I do.” She paused, waiting for her breathing to even out before she continued. “But I don’t want to share.”

“Me neither.” His eyes burned into hers. “Just me and you.” Starting to smile, he closed the distance between them again, wrapping his arms around her, hers automatically looping around his neck as he lifted her into a hug, swaying her from side to side.

Rose laughed, feeling all the tension leave the room, and squeezed him tight. “I missed you,” she murmured.

He set her back on her feet again and peered at her curiously. “Hmm?”

“Today.” She ran her hands down his shirtfront, smoothing out wrinkles. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“Yeah?”

He stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Yeah. Couldn’t wait to get back home to you.”

She smiled. “I’m gonna go to bed. You should, too.”

The Doctor lifted an eyebrow.

“On your own,” she clarified. She gestured with her hand vaguely. “Sleep on… all this.”

“And tomorrow - we can, I dunno. Start over?”

“No.” When he brought out his puppy eyes she laughed. “No, I just mean - starting over, that’d - I’m not waiting another couple of years, Doctor.”

“Ah.” He smiled, nodding. “Right.”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yep.” As she stepped away, he gently tugged her back to him, leaning down and kissing her cheek. “Night, Rose.”

Butterflies settled in her tummy, but they were the good kind. Not the creatures that had taken up residence earlier today and made her feel sick. These were - hopeful.

“Night, Doctor.”

::

"Thought you’d gone to bed," the Doctor said quietly, when he walked into the kitchen. "It’s just after two in the morning, Rose-time."

Rose smiled, before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “Couldn’t sleep. Can we chat?”

"Of course!" He plonked down in the seat beside her and shifted the chair closer to hers. "What’s up?"

She arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

His eyes went soft. “It lied, Rose.”

"Did it though?"

"Yes. And I’m going to keep repeating myself until you accept it."

"Doesn’t matter how many times you say it -"

His hand shot out, seeking hers, entwining their fingers. “Don’t, Rose. Please.”

She sighed, and stroked the back of his thumb with hers. “Okay. Let’s talk about something that makes us happy.”

"We still have some of your mother’s shepherd’s pie left - peckish?"

Rose burst out laughing, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"What?"

"Just find it funny that I say ‘happy’ and you think ‘food.’"

"Oh." He tugged on his ear with a sheepish grin. "Was I supposed to talk about you?"

She lifted her head, giving him a strange look. “What? No - "

"Because if it helps, you were my second thought."

Rose bit her lip, smiling shyly.

"Oh, don’t look at me like that," he sniffed, shifting in his seat.

"Well, if you’re gonna be sweet…"

"I wasn’t trying to be sweet."

"Yeah, all right." She grinned, and rested her head against him again. "Doctor. Ida said you mentioned me."

She heard his sharp intake of breath and held hers.

He picked up her mug and took a sip. She rolled her eyes at his casual display.

"Doctor?"

"Hmm? Oh, right. Yeah, I did. Mention you."

"…and?"

"Well." He cleared his throat. "As I stared into the abyss, I thought your name would be sufficient last words. Just in case."

Rose scoffed, letting go of his hand, standing up. He looked up at her nervously, his mouth open to speak, but she took his shoulder in a reassuring grip, meeting his gaze. “Come to bed with me.”

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “I - I’m not tired,” he blurted out.

She straightened, her hand falling from his shoulder. “Okay.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, ignoring the heat coming to her cheeks. “I’ll just - night, then.”

"No, wait," he said quickly, rising from his chair. "I don’t know why I said that."

Her breath left her in relief. “Oh.”

Tentatively, he drew her towards him, hands on her waist. “All still a bit new, this. The kissing thing. Not quite sure what the…protocol is.”

Her hand went to the back of his neck, and she pulled him into a fierce kiss. When she released him, he had a dopey smile on his face.

"You seem to be coping just brilliantly with the snogging, Doctor."

He flushed. “It’s not the snogging I’m worried about. Got the hang of that.”

"You were pretty good to start with."

"Well." He made a pleased sound in the back of his throat. "Thank you."

She trailed a finger around his collar. “So, you’re nervous? Not rejecting me, just nervous?”

Exhaling roughly, he nodded.

"There’s no rush, you know. Let’s just go and cuddle. Yeah? ‘Cos, I dunno, I could just do with you being there tonight, that’s all."

"Just tonight?" he asked, his lips twitching.

"We’ll just have to see if you’re worth chucking out Mr Tedopolous for, won’t we?"

The Doctor chuckled, and dropped a quick kiss to her lips. “Come on then. Time to show Mr Tedopolous how it’s done.” He glanced at her. “Cuddling, that is.”

They grinned at each other.

Grabbing her hand, he led her out of the kitchen, a bounce in his step.

::

“Rose, let’s swap, you’re gonna burn the eggs.”

Stumbling over to the table tiredly, she left him to it, sitting down with a big yawn.

“I said swap,” he said, laughing. “Not sit down and make me do all the work.”

She gestured at the kettle. “But you make such good tea. And such good eggs. You do both, yeah?” Then, she rested her head in her arms. After a few seconds of feeling his eyes on her, she looked up.

He was smiling at her. “I kept you up far too late last night.”

Rose shrugged. “It’s all right. Was like a sleepover. Staying up all night chatting, staring at the ceiling.”

“I wasn’t staring at the ceiling.”

She stretched her arms up over her head, her pyjama top rising with the movement. She watched his eyes dart to her exposed belly, then back up to her face.

The Doctor cleared his throat. “Did I surpass your teddy’s cuddling skills, then?” he asked, turning back to the eggs, feigning nonchalance.

“Yeah, you’ll do.” Propping her legs up on the seat next to her, she twisted her body to lean against the coral wall. Her eyelids felt heavy, but she resisted the urge to doze off, given that she had such a good arse to stare at. His pyjama bottoms, just like his pinstriped suit, were just the right level of tight. She wasn’t sure how comfortable they could be, but she was grateful for them nonetheless.

“Are you staring at my bum?” he remarked.

“How’d you guess?” she grumbled.

“Time Lord.”

She stuck her tongue out at him as he turned around with their plates of eggs on toast, plonking them on the table. After sorting out the tea, he sat down beside her, so close that their thighs brushed together, and handed her mug to her. “So, shall we stay in this morning?” He sipped from his mug and then cursed, just like he always did when he forgot that he’d only just poured the boiling water into it. Scraping his tongue against his teeth in a futile attempt to ease the burn, he mumbled something indistinct.

“Pardon?”

“I said, we’ll stay here for a few hours, then head out somewhere nice for a late lunch. Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “Sounds nice.”

The Doctor nodded, and tucked into his breakfast, nudging Rose with his elbow and urging her to do the same.

“So, like. Will this late lunch count as a date?” she asked curiously.

He lifted his eyebrow, swallowed his food, and retorted, “Rose, I’ve been taking you on dates for years.”

“Oh.” She ducked her head, blushing. “Really?”

“Yep.” He squinted at her. “You even said so! Back on New Earth. Thought we’d been on the same page with that, at least.”

“I mean, I hoped, but…I was just sort of joking.”

“Oh. Well, anyway, last week - Elvis, Rose. You had to at least see that that was a date.”

“We never actually ended up seeing him, by the way,” she pointed out.

“Still.” He paused. “We could do that tonight. If you like. Try again?”

“If we do, will you dance with me like you did at the coronation?”

“Yep,” he replied, popping the ‘p.’ “As long as you promise you won’t lose your head. Get it? Get it?” He sobered. “Yeah, poor taste. Sorry.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Think you were more traumatised than I was; I barely remember having my face sucked off.”

“Good. There’s only one type of - I’m not gonna finish that sentence.”

“Yeah, best not.” She smirked. “Anyway, deal.” 

::

“You, Rose Tyler, are _sozzled.”_

“Pfft, and you’re not?” She cackled, pointing at him dramatically. “You said Time Lords can hold your liquor. Looks like somebody owes me ten quid!”

He looped his arm around her waist, dragging her with him to the kitchen sink. “Come on, let’s rehydrate. Where do we keep the glasses again?”

She dove into his jacket pocket and nabbed his glasses, then held them up triumphantly. “Here they are!”

The Doctor collapsed into laughter. “I meant glasses as in holders of water, you daft thing.”

“Holders of - oh! You mean these.” She opened a cupboard and pointed.

“Yes! Those! Get two!”

She put his glasses on her face and pretended to study the glassware available. “Hmm…this one!” Picking just one glass out and then closing the cupboard door, she thrust it at him. “We can share.”

He giggled and took the glass from her, filling it up with water from the tap. Whilst he was gulping half of it down greedily, Rose watched him, biting her lip.

“Hmm?” he prompted, wiping his chin. He squinted at her, and passed her the glass. “Oh, don’t tell me you find the sight of me drinking water arousing.”

She deliberately picked the side he’d drunk out of, taking a few steady, sensible sips. “Course not.” She paused, put the glass on the side, and walked her hands up his chest. “Although…your throat does look particularly biteable this evening.”

He beamed. “Why, thank you. Yours has a similar effect. However, we are terribly drunk, and need to sleep it off.” He touched her nose with the tip of his finger. “Don’t want us to get too carried away when we likely won’t even remember it.”

“Yep, okdokey, absolutely.” Rose nodded, taking his glasses off her face and chucking them to her right. They landed in the sink, accidentally, but the Doctor didn’t notice so she didn’t draw attention to it. “But I want a goodnight kiss, at least.”

“Oh, well, that goes without saying,” he declared, pulling her in close. He kissed her deeply, and it was fantastic, but then Rose started giggling halfway through and he disengaged their lips with a growl, moving his to her neck instead. “How you can laugh at a time like this…” he teased, as he slipped the sleeve of her dress to the side and sucked at the join of her neck and shoulder.

She moaned, but then smacked him lightly on the arm. “Hey, you said I wasn’t allowed to do that.”

“You tried to do it in public,” he told her, mouth leaving her skin with a satisfying smacking sound. She pressed herself closer to him.

“Oh,” she realised. “Oh, yeah.” She ran her hands down his back and then grabbed his bum. “Don’t go in for the public displays of affection, eh Doctor? Except for all the hand-holding, of course.”

He pushed her back against the counter as he switched sides and started nibbling his way up to her earlobe. “Want you all to myself, ‘s’why. Why should other people get to see all the fun?”

“Mmm, that’s really nice, Doctor, but we have to go to bed. Doctor’s orders.”

Heaving a sigh, he straightened up, but trailed his hands down her arms as he stepped away, making them tingle. She shivered. “You’re right.” He frowned, wobbling a bit on his feet. “We drank far too much. Yours or mine?”

“What’s that?”

“Bed. Yours or mine?”

Rose fiddled with the skirt of her dress, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly. “Oh…well, we always usually sleep in mine, but if…if you’re sure you don’t mind, then I guess, well, we could maybe go to yours tonight.”

“Yep, completely sure.” He grinned, then grabbed her in a hug, lifting and twirling her in a circle. “Let’s go!”

“Put me down!” she squealed. “You’re sloshed, you’ll drop me.”

He set her on her feet but stared at her seriously. His voice went low and serious as he said, “I’d never drop you.” Then, brightly, smiling, “Race you to my room!”

::

“Worst. Hangover. Ever.”

The Doctor smiled at her sympathetically, patting her back as she finished heaving into the kitchen sink. “Here, take this. It tastes disgusting but you’ll thank me for it.” He glanced into the sink and Rose winced. “Are those my - ”

“Sorry?” she mumbled, before knocking back the hangover cure he’d given her.

He sniffed. “Luckily for you, I have another pair.”

“Phew. What a relief. Thought the world was gonna end or something if you didn’t.”

“As someone who just threw up on my glasses, I don’t think you’re in a position to tease me, Rose Tyler.”

She managed a weak smile. “You can get me back for it later. For now, I’m gonna go curl up in a dark room.”

“That cure’ll kick in any second, don’t worry. And then we’re going to Barcelona.”

“We are?”

“Yep! Still haven’t got around to showing you those dogs with no noses, have I? Needs to be rectified, that.”

Her smile grew. “I’d like that.”

“Molto bene!”

::

“Good morning,” the Doctor grinned, when she entered the room.

“You already said that. As soon as my eyes opened,” she laughed.

“Well, it bears repeating. It’s a very, very, very good morning.”

She realised that neither of them had stopped smiling since they’d woken up. Her cheeks were actually beginning to ache. Stepping over to the kettle, she sighed happily. His arms sneaked around her waist from behind and she felt him bury his nose in her neck, inhaling deeply before pressing a soft kiss there. Her hands rested over his on her stomach. “Anyone would think you’d got some action last night, or something,” she chuckled, leaning into him.

“Mmm, cheeky.” He paused for a couple of moments, then continued, “So. How regularly do you humans like to do that, again? Just, you know. Out of curiosity.”

“Seeing the benefits, are you?”

He sniffed. “Well. It was…”

Rose turned around and put her arms around his neck. “If you can keep up, then pretty much every day. Maybe the odd day off,” she teased.

“Oh, I can keep up,” he nodded vigorously. “I assure you that won’t be an issue. Time Lord stamina, and all that.”

She rocked into him, staring up at him with what she hoped was a mischievous expression on her face. “Prove it.”

“Gladly.” He picked her up, bridal style, and started striding out of the kitchen with her. Then, when he reached the door, he retreated until they reached the fridge. “Rose, open it up and collect some supplies, yeah? I’m a bit peckish and we may be gone for some time.”

Snorting with laughter, Rose pointed at various food and drink in the fridge, and he assented or declined each one, and soon she had a veritable feast of food stacked up in her lap. “Sure you can carry me and all this?” she smirked.

He looked affronted. “Rose Tyler. How dare you even question my manly strength.”

Rose rolled her eyes, kicked the fridge door shut, and then he carried her and the food to their room.

::

“Ha! I win!” Rose jumped up from the table, fist-pumping the air. “I can’t believe I won!”

The Doctor stared at the scrabble board. “Rose. I think it’s sentient. That’s the only explanation.”

“Oi! You bastard, that’s so mean!” But she was grinning. Nothing could temper the triumph of this victory for her. She was gonna hold this over his head forever.

“Sorry.” He tugged on his ear, and lifted the board from the table, dislodging the letter tiles, examining the underside. “Huh.”

“Doctor!” she complained.

“I’m sorry, Rose, it’s just - well - you have a much more limited vocabulary than me so I’m not quite sure how this happened.” She folded her arms, glaring. He raised his gaze to meet hers and his eyes went round. “I didn’t - I - well, it’s not - I didn’t mean - ”

Then, she started giggling. “It’s all right, Doctor. I’m well aware I don’t have a degree in quantum physics. Swear it’s against the rules for you to use technical terms, anyway,” she said, pointing at him. “Besides. I think my victory has more to do with the fact that you’ve been distracted the entire game.”

His eyes travelled down her naked body. He tilted his head. “Ah. That’ll be it.”

“Still, I’m counting it! Evidently I don’t get distracted as easily as you.” She placed her hands on his shoulders and straddled his lap, palming his erection. “Wait, this is for me and not for the word ‘discombobulated,’ right?”

“That is absolutely just for you.”

::

“Is that…a _candle?”_ Rose asked, astonished, as she took in the sight before her. She glanced at the Doctor, and did a double take. “Are you in a _tux?”_

“Why are you asking questions with obvious answers?” he asked, peering at her curiously. “Simple matter of observation - ”

“I just thought my eyes must be deceiving me, that’s all,” she mumbled, still pretty gobsmacked. She glanced at him again, warily this time. “What did you do?”

“What? Nothing!”

“Really?”

“I’m offended you’d even ask me that!”

“It’s just…” She wrinkled her nose. “This whole thing looks suspiciously romantic.”

“Well,” he huffed. “I _am_ romantic.”

She arched an eyebrow.

“Sometimes,” he amended. “When I try really hard. Which I did! Tonight.” He stepped over to the table and whipped the stainless steel covers off the plates, revealing a perfectly cooked roast dinner.

Her eyes boggled. “Wow! That looks amazing!” Her stomach rumbled, and she pressed her hand to it, embarrassed.

The Doctor rocked back on his heels, impatient. Excited. “Go on, then,” he urged.

Slowly, she sat down at the table, watching him with an assessing eye as he sat down opposite her. She glanced down at herself, then. “I’m a bit underdressed, apparently.” She’d just had a bath and changed into her pjs, thinking they were grabbing an understated bite to eat in the TARDIS kitchen together, as opposed to this elaborate display.

He smiled softly. “You look lovely just as you are. Although, you might want to change later, when we go out. Up to you.”

Unable to resist the allure of the food despite her suspicions over what had gotten into the Doctor, she delved in, and he poured them both some wine before doing the same.

“So, um,” she said, in between bites, “What’s this in aid of, then?”

He shrugged, then gestured at the calendar Rose had pinned up on the kitchen wall several months ago. “Apparently, according to that, it’s six days ‘til it’ll be three years since you started travelling on the TARDIS. It’s wrong, of course. The anniversary’s today. Told you your dates were off.”

Rose put her knife and fork down, and _stared._

He took a casual bite of a roast potato.

Rose just continued to stare.

“So, uh.” He cleared his throat. “This all right? We’ve not had much luck, lately, with having time to ourselves. Unimpeded by alien invasions and the like. Thought I might as well do this here, minimise the risk of interruption. Rose?”

“Doctor.” She blinked quickly.

Suddenly, he looked alarmed. “Oh, no. Didn’t mean to upset you - ”

“I’m not upset.” She shook her head. “Nowhere close to upset.”

The Doctor scratched at the back of his neck. “No?”

Rose swallowed hard. “I want to tell you something.”

“Yes?”

“I dunno if I should. But I - I really, really want to say it. Because this…” She waved her hand around vaguely. “You. It’s all so…”

He reached across the table and took her hand. “Tell me.”

Taking a steadying breath, Rose whispered, “I love you.”

The Doctor’s fingers squeezed her own. “I love you too.”

A tiny tear slid down her cheek and she wiped at it hastily, laughing. “Sorry, just a bit…”

He lifted his wine glass. “Happy anniversary, Rose Tyler. Now, tuck into your dinner. We’ve got a nebula to look at from an observation deck in the 43rd century. Should be beautiful.” He shrugged. “Could be trouble, though, you know what we’re like. So, nourishment!” He shoved another potato into his mouth.

She pressed her lips together, holding back a full-blown grin.

They’d both said it. And nothing had imploded. They would go on, as they were, but better. And she thought to herself that there was probably nothing in the entire universe that could surprise her more than this.


End file.
